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 I have had a feeling in my gut like I swallowed something rotten; It’s not the type of complaint you would say necessitates an immediate purging, just the sense that something’s been brewing down there for far to long and that it really should be fixed. It’s a bit like the problem with the Australian Wheat Board, you know they gave Sadam Hussain all that money when the rest of the word was trying to bring him to heel by imposing crippling sanctions on his economy and that we spent heaps of money having a Royal Commission but despite all the good efforts towards a remedy, there’s still the smell of off fish in the air.

Anyhow it turns out heaps of people have this condition Known as Celiacs, it’s an intolerance to wheat. You might have noticed the many products appearing on our supermarket shelves with the labelling ‘Gluten free’, that’s the solution to the problem. All you have to do is monitor what goes into your belly and the problem goes away. Strangely enough that how they caught the A.W.B, they just monitored what was going in to Iraq and before you could say ‘Johnnie’s the rat’ the situation started to improve.

Once you have been made aware of this, the ongoing problem requires a constant adherence to seeking out replacements for old habits because of the glutinous nature of anything associated with the offending substance can spark off another vile attack. You must of experienced something like it yourself? In Queensland we had a problem with peanuts, it just took one little crumb in a bakers dozen to infect the whole process, so you really had to watch what was going into your pumpkin scones. Now I find myself buying strange things like Pasta made out of corn, rice crackers without flavouring and when someone asks ‘would you like some dressing on your salad?’ I reply ‘Is it gluten free?’

We really should have the same attitude towards the running of our countries affairs, when somebody asks ‘would you like to buy some cars from us?’ We should reply ‘Are they carbon free?’ And if someone wants to shove another single desk down our throat, we should collectively say ‘Not if it’s as gluttonous as the last one!’ Good health doesn’t come without a price, my grocery bill has gone up but my meals are staying down and last but not least; everybody loves a clown but you wouldn’t want Crusty running your country. Stay vigilant but don’t become a vigilante.

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