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As if kids didn’t have enough to worry about, what with global warming, the big financial institutions coming crashing down around their heads and a nuclear armed North Korea guiding missiles in their direction, now they have to deal with a world wide pandemic.

Why oh why can’t, so called, responsible adults keep their big mouths shut on matters such as this? What would it cost to stop the media from engaging in these massive advertising campaigns of fear and loathing? Is it not possible to quietly deal with these things without alarming everybody?

NO, NO, NO, I can hear the cries ringing around the offices of those who don’t give a rat’s bum. How would the pharmaceutical manufacturers sell their trillion dollar crop of anti-swine venin? How would the pathologist ensure their profits for this flu season? Where would the money come from the next pandemic, if nobody knew we were having one?

Think about the Psychiatrists, they are going to need a new generation of traumatised kids to keep expanding their business interests. The alcohol and tobacco executives know the more you worry people, the more they drink and smoke and that inevitably leads to gambling and harder drugs. There’s a multitude of responsible, upright and well heeled suits out there, rubbing their grubby little hands together every time the words Pig Flu or SARS are uttered.

So if you can’t beat them into the submission of crying wolf, join me in the chant;

PIG SARS PIG SARS PIG SARS PIG SARS PIG SARS PIG SARS PIG SARS FLU!

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