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Way back in the seventies when stepping out in a pair of flared jeans you were cool, but as the years past the only place you’d be considered cool is at a fancy dress nite. Even into the nineties, in Melbourne, you could be caught out in skin tight stubbies, supporting a mullet and still not get locked up but at some point in time, all fashion changes and if you’re not careful you can look pretty silly.

When Marlon Brando first rocked into town on a trumped up Harley and wearing black leather that was cool, now I don’t know about you but I’m a bit over it. Fifty thousand dollars of accessorized chrome and a colour co-ordinated jump-suit on a fat old man making loud farting noises, just doesn’t have the same effect.

Cars too can have a best before date, in so much as, it’s really easy to go totally over the top and end up looking like you have a deficiency downstairs or at least a bigger wallet than genitals. Never the less, every day I see all sorts go cruising down my street obviously more impressed with themselves than anybody else is (re: the little finger joke).

Now all this is fairly cosmetic and inconsequential, I mean if I want to dress up as a cowboy and ride around on a hobby-horse, thinking I’m cool, what’s it to anybody else? Well I’ll tell you where I draw the line:

* Parking cops on full race Ducati’s

* Your friendly neighbourhood beat cop looking like Robocop all tooled up

* Publicly funded bureaucrats driving around in V8’s supercars

* Top Guns playing in really expensive big boy toys (paid for out of the public purse)

* Public servants where nothing but the best will do

* ASIO types having their martinis shaken and not stirred

* Etc,etc

Anyway, if this current trends keep heading in that direction, I’m regressing back to the seventies and will start flaring up regularly.

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